


Twas The Night Before Christmas

by Ivyaugust



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivyaugust/pseuds/Ivyaugust
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	Twas The Night Before Christmas

This year was only Abed’s second year living in Los Angeles, but it was his first year spending Christmas alone. He had been dreading the winter months all year, despite not having to deal with the cold weather that he usually despised after so many years of long Colorado winters. Now winter was really the only season where LA wasn’t too warm for his liking. He had spent last christmas with Jeff and Britta, who had taken turns letting him crash on their couches and telling him he could stay as long as he liked, even though he could tell that they were really only saying it because they were so worried about him going off the deep end all over again. That’s why he hadn’t even asked if he could come home this year. The last thing he wanted was to feel Jeff’s pity and for Britta to hover over him with worry. 

So instead of sitting around a table and playing games with his friends on Christmas eve, he was alone, sitting in his recliner, watching Die Hard for the third time this week to keep his apartment from feeling so empty. 

He had already shipped his friends their gifts, so the excitement of buying and wrapping had already ended weeks ago, and no present had arrived in the mail for him yet. It was weird, feeling as if there was nothing to celebrate or even anything special about the coming morning. Even December 9th had been drear and uneventful. Annie had called to check on him, to make sure he wasn’t acting crazy again. (She hadn’t said it like that, but Abed knew what she meant when she asked if he was feeling alright.)

And he was feeling alright. Not bad, not good. Not happy or sad. Just alright. He preferred that to the alternative, which was falling back into his old patterns. Hating himself, denying reality, missing Troy until he had no energy left to feel anything at all. He hoped Troy was somewhere warm tonight, taking care of himself. 

To be completely honest, Abed hadn’t seen much of a point in holidays at all after Troy left. He usually let them pass without any acknowledgement, hoping not to be reminded of his and Troy’s old traditions, and for the day to pass without anything out of the ordinary happening, so he could pretend it was just another day. 

So far, he was on a roll. Nothing weird or tv-worthy had happened at all. He went to work on the weekdays, and on the weekends he watched tv. It was simple as that. But the closer christmas drew near, the less he could ignore the ache in his chest. Original Abed did that to him sometimes, screaming at him from inside his brain, telling him to stop pretending that he was okay. Telling him to admit that he’s hurt, and angry at Troy. The easiest way to shut original Abed up was to agree with him sometimes. Most of the time he didn’t feel angry at Troy, he just missed him. But today, he was angry at Troy and he was allowing himself to feel it in full swing. 

He found himself talking to Original Abed about it a lot. He didn’t mean to, but it just happened really. Bickering back and forth, Original Abed insisted that Troy must not care about Abed at all if he wouldn’t even send him so much as a card, when he knows well enough how much Abed cares about the holidays. This evening, the fight was particularly heated. 

“You can’t possibly know how Troy feels,” Abed snapped at the voice in his head. “You haven’t even seen him in four years. You don’t know anything about Troy anymore.”

 _”I know that he left, and that you haven’t heard from him since. I know that you’re still hanging on to some hope that he will come back after all this time without a word from him.”_ The voice whispered back. 

“No I’m not,” Abed argued. “I’m stronger now, I don’t need Troy. I never really needed Troy.”

_”We both know that’s a lie.”_

“Troy left. He doesn’t need me, so I don’t need him. My feelings for Troy died with you.”

The whisper in his head was getting louder, more frustrated with him. _”If your feelings for Troy died in that basement, then why do you still keep that photo by your bed? Why are you so attached to a memory of a stupid blanket fort? If you don’t care, then prove it!”_

“I _don’t_ need Troy! I wish I had never even met Troy! Then you wouldn’t be able to do this to me. Then I wouldn’t have ever had to lose him, and I would be happy right now.” Abed shouted, jumping out of his chair and storming down the hallway. 

He threw open his bedroom door and picked up the frame from his bedside table, hesitating for only a moment before heaving it to the floor, shattering the glass and leaving the photo face down beneath the wreckage. “See? I don’t need Troy.”

No response.

Abed shook his head, annoyed with himself. He always did this. He had to go and make himself feel crazy all over again. He was surprised at himself for what he had said, but the more he thought about it, the more he believed it, so he pushed it to the back of his mind. Maybe he did wish he had never met Troy, but he couldn’t think about that right now. He couldn’t think about any of this and risk Original Abed coming back to pick another fight with him. 

Abed slunk down the hallway to brush his teeth. He wandered around the house as he brushed, not wanting to look in the mirror, afraid of what might be looking back at him. He knew he had bags under his eyes, and that he hadn’t washed his hair in three days, he didn’t need to be reminded. He switched off the tv and slipped into his pajamas, keeping his slippers on to avoid the glass. He would clean that up in the morning, he didn’t have the energy to do it tonight. 

When he settled into bed, he thought he would be up for hours, but to his surprise he fell asleep right away. 

⟷⟷⟷

Abed awoke to the sound of crunching glass. He glanced at his clock. 1:27. He’d only been asleep for a few hours. Then the crunch came again. He sat up in bed. “Who’s there?” he demanded. 

“Sorry, sorry..” came a small and sheepish voice. 

“Annie??”

As soon as he said her name, she emerged from the shadows and stepped into the moonlight. “Hey Abed. What happened to your picture?” she asked sadly. 

“Nothing. I dropped it. What's going on? What are you doing here?” he said, cocking his head to the side with confusion. Annie sat at the foot of the bed, crossing one leg over the other underneath her long satin nightgown. 

“You needed me, I could tell.” Annie said, the hint of a smile on her face as she reached out and touched Abed’s leg over his blanket reassuringly. “Do you really wish you had never met Troy?”

Abed shook his head. “What are you talking about? How do you- Oh. I see.” He looked down at his hands. “My brain is doing the crazy thing again. You’re not really here.”

“What are you talking about, Abed? Of course I’m here. You can see me, you can touch me.”

“I could see and touch the lava too.”

“That doesn’t matter right now, Abed. Regardless of if I’m real or not, I’m here because you need me.” 

Abed slid back under his covers, laying back down. “I think I need to go back to sleep. You’ll be gone when I wake up, right?”

Annie just sighed longingly, staring up at the ceiling in that way that always made him feel guilty. He groaned and sat back up. “Okay, fine. Why do I need you?”

“You need me because you think you’re better off without Troy. For a long time, that has only been something you’ve said to make Original Abed be quiet, but now you’re really starting to believe it.”

“This isn’t convincing me that you’re real.”

“Just listen to me. I’m here to remind you of how much Troy has affected your life, and why you’re lucky to have had a friend like him in your life.”

Abed rolled his eyes. “So we’re doing It’s A Wonderful Life? Or is this A Christmas Carol?”

“Who cares, Abed? There’s more at stake here. You’re going to give up on Troy too early, and I can’t let that happen.” She said smugly, obviously pleased with herself. 

She stood from the bed, offering her hand to Abed. He took it begrudgingly, slipping out of bed putting his slippers back on. She led him out to the living room and gestured for him to take a seat in his recliner. She perched on the arm rest next to him and handed him the remote. “Turn on the Tv.” She said gently. 

“I don’t understand how this is going to help me understand anything.”

“Just do it, Abed, before I- Well I don’t know what I’ll do. But you won’t like it.”

Abed switched the tv on, but past that the remote stopped working. “I can’t change the channel,” he said half smugly, half complaining. 

“You don’t need to. Just watch.”

On the screen was what appeared to be the group’s first Christmas at Greendale. Eh- Their first December 10th. They all sat around the table, but Troy was nowhere to be seen. Jeff looked like shit. Annie was helping him ice a black eye. Shirley whispered quietly, “I told you so.” Britta rolled her eyes. Troy is nowhere to be seen. 

“What’s this? We all got beat up that day. Why does Jeff look half dead?” Abed said, genuinely confused. “Troy didn’t affect this situation enough to change the whole outcome.”

“Of course he did. Troy wasn’t around to encourage Jeff, or to teach him how to fight. Pierce tried to help him, but he wasn’t too successful. Britta still walked out of Shirley’s party to support Jeff, and you followed. But the rest of us didn’t. Well. Pierce and I didn’t. You might have looked up to Troy, but so did Pierce and I, even if it didn’t show as much. Or at all, in someone’s case.”

“So… we still managed to form the rest of the group, but Troy wasn’t there? I need you to make this a little clearer, it’s pretty sloppy from a narrative standpoint. I don’t think I fully understand the rules in this universe.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Yes, Abed. Try to keep up. I thought you of all people would fill in some of the blanks here. You still brought us all together, but things were very different.”

“What about christmas itself?” Abed asked sadly. “I spent that day with Troy. We played video games all day, and he spent the night.” 

Annie shrugged. “You spent winter break alone in your dorm. Even Pavel had family to go home to. Christmas wasn’t any different. You watched Rudolph with your mother on December 9th, but your Christmas was fairly underwhelming that year.”

Abed was staring blankly at the wall above the tv now. When he spoke, his tone was a lot darker. “Let’s just move on.”

Annie changed the channel. Abed stared up at her, annoyed. “Oh, so only you can control the all-knowing television?”

“I don’t make the rules, Abed. I just follow them. Watch.”

Abed and Britta were sitting in Duncan’s office. She held his hand tightly as he explained his entire situation to Duncan. Jeff sat on the opposite side of the couch, glaring at Britta. Abed had never seen this perspective of that day before. It wasn’t in stop motion. It was just… sad.

“Explain it. I want to know what this means.” he said flatly. 

“Well, you rejected Duncan’s help at first, but Britta eventually got you to accept it. If you could call what he was doing ‘help.’ We still had the journey to Planet Abed, but it was a lot more short lived. Troy wasn’t there to stand by you. Eventually the rest of us kinda started to agree with Britta when we saw how deeply you had invested yourself into the claymation. We were scared for you, and we didn’t know how to help like Troy did.”

“It wasn’t clay. Continue.”

“Duncan wrote a paper about psychosis using your experience. He didn’t get nearly as much recognition for it as he had hoped, but you were still forced to go to therapy. Pierce was the only person who didn’t care enough to get involved, but he didn’t defend you the way Troy and I did. And unfortunately, since Troy wasn’t there, I took Britta’s side.” 

“And?”

“Well… The group kinda split up there. You didn’t trust any of us anymore, and without you holding us together… we all kinda found reasons to stop showing up to study. The whole pen thing had us teetering anyway. Troy wasn’t there to come up with the ghost theory, so we all kinda had to just forget about it, but that anger didn’t just disappear. We all had trust issues at that point.” Annie recounted the events as if they had really happened to her. As if this was the timeline she had lived through. 

“So what happened then? If we split up in season two?” 

Annie didn’t argue with him referring to their second year as a season, she had heard it all before. “Well, Britta dropped out. She went back to bartending. Pierce finally decided to graduate. Shirley dropped out when she had Ben. We were all still there for that, but Britta wasn’t there to deliver him though, so you did it. Shirley never really acted the same around you.”

“What about you and Jeff? Or me, for that matter?”

Annie sighed wistfully. “Jeff went back to cheating. He got his degree and went back to being a lawyer. As planned. Me… I stayed in school. But I ended up as a drug rep, and eventually relapsed, which really sucked.”

Abed felt dread creeping up. “That can’t be true. All that, just because Troy wasn’t there???” 

Annie looked sad. “Butterfly Effect, huh.” 

“That movie is kinda stupid, isn’t it?”

“I’m not talking about the movie, Abed. I think I meant ripple effect.” 

“No, you were right the first time. I mean, both terms work. The first was more specific. This is irrelevant. I think I get it now, we all needed Troy. You still haven’t told me what happened to me.”

“Well, you never really connected with us the same way that you had when Troy was around. He really showed us how to dive into your world, how to see things from your perspective. You and I weren’t really that close, and neither were you and Jeff. You and Britta were good friends, but she got frustrated when you wouldn’t take her advice and go to therapy, and it broke your trust in her. You losing your friendship with Britta separated you from the group, starting the split. You left for LA a lot sooner, but you didn’t gain a lot of the skills that you have today that would’ve helped you to become successful in film.” 

Abed stared blankly at the television in front of him, playing scenes along with Annie’s words, almost mocking him with proof that what she said was true. “Can I go back to bed?” He asked flatly. “It’s not like I could go back and change the past if I wanted to.”

Annie sighed. “Yeah, Abed. Get your rest. While you can.”

Abed hardly had time to worry about what that meant before he was sitting up in his bed all over again, as if no time had passed. 1:27. What the hell?

Smoke tickled his throat and eyes. He coughed. 

“Shit, sorry.” a voice came from beside him. He turned to look. Britta. She hurried to wave the smoke from her lit joint away from Abed’s face. 

“Hey Britta. Are you here to tell me about Christmas present?” 

“Wait, was I supposed to bring you a present? I’m so sorry, Abed. Annie didn’t tell me.” She looked genuinely upset by this.

“Nevermind. Let’s just get this over with so I can go back to sleep.”

Britta took another drag from her joint, blowing it up towards the ceiling only to be dispersed by Abed’s ceiling fan. He tried not to be annoyed that she was wearing her boots in his bed. 

_”It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.”_ He reminded himself, eyeing the dirt caked on the soles. 

“I’m here to tell you about what Troy is getting up to these days. Well. What he would be doing if you had never met.” 

“I figured as much.” 

Britta passed Abed the joint. He took it, shaking his head defeatedly. If he had at least two more hours of this, he was at least going to be high for it.

“Do you have a magical tv too?”

“What? No. Just smoke the weed, then I’ll explain.”

Abed lifted the joint to his lips hesitantly, but gently sucked it into his lungs, only coughing a little bit. It had been a while since Abed had smoked anything, but chances were that this wasn’t even real, so he humored Britta’s request. It tasted real, and the burn in his throat felt real. He took a few more slow drags from the joint, holding them all in as long as he could before handing it back to Britta. 

“Okay, I smoked. Now what?” He asked, annoyed. 

“Lay down and close your eyes. Tell me what you see.” 

“I don’t see anything. It’s black.” He could hear her clicking the lighter next to him, relighting the joint. 

After a moment she finally responded. “C’mon Abed, you have a better imagination than that. What do you see?”

He sighed, finally starting to see an image forming in his brain. “I see myself, alone, in my apartment.”

“Yes, you’re alone. No Troy, right?” 

“Right, but I don’t see how that’s different from this timeline.” 

“Look harder.” Britta said casually. “There are no photos on the walls. None of your posters. No Inspector Spacetime. You’re happy, but only because you don’t know what you’re missing. Well, not so much ‘Happy.’ More like... content.”

Abed was quiet for a moment. “That still sounds better than how I feel now.”

“You’d rather be alone, never having learned the things Troy taught you, content watching movies and being alone forever?” Britta asked sadly.

“I was fine before I met Troy. I never needed a best friend before him. Sure, having him was amazing. So good that I can’t seem to get over it. But if I don’t know what I’m missing, am I really missing anything?” 

“...You’re missing _us._ ” Britta’s voice was growing increasingly sadder now. “You need to look past how it felt to lose Troy, and remember all the things you gained from knowing him. In this ‘timeline,’ if that’s what you want to call it, you still moved to LA. But you don’t have your friends. Nobody calls you on the weekends, nobody asks how work is going. Without Troy, you don’t have Annie. You don’t have Jeff, or Shirley, or me.”

Abed sighed. “What about Troy?” He didn’t want to ask this question, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. “Where is he today? If we had never met?”

As soon as he asked, the scene behind his eyelids began to change. He saw Troy, in a small apartment. He sat on the couch, watching tv with a fluffy dog in his lap. 

“Troy is alone too, Abed. He’s an extremely successful air conditioning repairman, but he’s alone, and he’s going to stay that way. He doesn’t have friends either. He doesn’t speak with his family. No girlfriend, no wife, no kids. He still thinks that the repair school has the power to make those decisions for him.”

Abed felt a tear slide down the side of his face and land inside his ear. “That really sucks,” He says sadly, reaching up to wipe the tear away. “I don’t want that. Troy deserves to be happy. To be loved.”

“But you don’t?”

Abed doesn’t answer her. 

“Troy isn’t happy in this timeline, Abed. He’s lonely, and he feels like he doesn’t know who he is. He feels like he never got the chance to figure it out, and now he’s stuck in a life that he doesn’t really want. The same way that _you_ feel.”

“You don’t know how I feel.” Abed tried to sound firm and sure of himself, but his voice cracked and his breath shook. “You said I was content a minute ago.” 

“You are, Abed, but that’s because you were always lonely before Troy. You were never quite sure where you fit in, or what kind of person you wanted to be. It’s your normal.”

“I knew where I fit. I’ve always been the supporting char-”

“Abed you’re not a character. And even if you were, you’re not supporting. To Troy, you were the whole show. All that mattered. He didn’t leave because he didn’t care about you, he left because he needed a chance to be the lead in his own story. Does that make sense?”

Abed nodded begrudgingly, wiping away another silent tear. He felt his high taking him over and his eyelids drooping. A pair of cold lips pressed against his cheek. “Get some rest, Abed.” Britta’s voice sounded far away now. “I promise you, everything will make sense soon enough.” 

Abed let himself slip back into unconsciousness, her words repeating in his brain. He hoped she was right. He hated things not making sense. 

Less than a moment later, he was shaken awake quickly, a gruff voice in his ear. “Abed, wake up.”

He groaned, opening his eyes yet again, to see a tired looking Jeff standing over him. He had dark circles under his eyes. “Get up. Get dressed. We’ve got soul searching to do.”

Abed decided to skip the protests, noting that it was still 1:27 AM, and that he probably wouldn’t lose any real sleep over this. He dragged himself out of bed, and stripped out of his pajamas. Jeff leaned against the doorway, waiting impatiently. Abed pulled himself into his jeans and pulled on one of his hoodies over his bare chest, zipping it closed. 

“Finally,” Jeff groaned as Abed stuffed his feet into his sneakers, leaving them untied. “Lets go.”

Jeff took Abed by the hand, leading him down his hallway and out the front door. They took the elevator downstairs and stepped out into the cool night air. The street was quiet. “Where are we going?” Abed asked Jeff curiously, squeezing his hand and wondering how it felt so real. It was warm, and the skin was soft. Not calloused like Troy’s. But Troy was gentle with Abed. Jeff pulled Abed along behind him, his grip on Abed’s hand tight.

“You’ll see. We’re almost there.” 

They walked quietly for a few more minutes, hand in hand. Abed watched his feet and tried to appreciate the time he had in Jeff’s presence, not knowing when he might get to feel it again. He was past trying to avoid this now, knowing that he couldn’t stop it until it ended on it’s own. 

They came to a stop on a beach. Abed felt a whine starting to come up in his throat. He had avoided this beach for ages. He didn’t like to stare at the sea, and he could already feel the sand sneaking into his sneakers, wedging between his toes. Jeff squeezed Abed’s hand reassuringly, like he could feel his anxiety. “It’s not real,” He mumbled, raising his eyebrows at Abed. “Right?”

Abed closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and nodding. “Not real. Okay. I assume you’re here to talk about my future. What do you need to show me?”

“Annie and Britta wanted me to show you what your future would’ve been like if you’d never met Troy. I’d prefer to try a different approach. This is the beach where Troy will dock when his trip is complete. That dock over there is where he will step off the boat. Where you _could_ be waiting for him, waiting to run into his arms.”

“Could?” Abed asked curiously. 

“You have the choice to push Troy away. You could let your anger and resentment win. Or, you could swallow it, and accept Troy back into your life. Accept him as the new person he is off becoming. You should be proud of him, Abed. Supporting him. This is something he needed to do. I want to show you what you’re missing out on if you give in to the anger.”

“What is that exactly?”

“Well,” Jeff stuffed his free hand into his pocket. “Right now this is just a regular dock. It could stay a regular dock, or it could be the place where you reunite with Troy. You could kiss him for the first time right over there.” He nodded towards the dock. 

The moon shone on the sea, and the waves lapped quietly at the sides of the boats. Abed stared longingly at the dock. He wanted that so badly that he didn’t know how to process the information that Jeff was giving him.

“But wait, you just said that none of this is real. So why should I trust that you’re telling me the truth? Maybe you’re just telling me what I want to hear.” He asked sadly, not wanting to get his hopes too high.

“How do you know that I wasn’t telling you what you wanted to hear when I said it was fake? Whether or not this is real is irrelevant. It’s what you take away from it that matters.” 

Abed looked down at his feet again, buried in the sand. The sand between his toes still feels real. It was bothering him more than ever, now that he was so unsure of its existence. 

“Follow me, I have something else to show you.” 

They began to walk again, their hands still clasped together. “You’re not acting much like Jeff today.” Abed commented casually. 

“I’m acting like your friend who cares about your happiness, Abed. For now, that’s good enough.” Jeff said. His voice was different. Kinder, not as sarcastic. The way it is when Jeff is trying to be sympathetic and gentle. 

Abed followed two steps behind Jeff, still being pulled a bit. He wasn’t used to being the slower one, but Abed’s long stride was no match for Jeff’s. He looked up from his feet and up at the stars. “Why can’t you tell me where we’re going?”

“We’re here.” They came to a stop. 

Abed looked back down at the world in front of him. “What is it?” 

It was clearly a restaurant. Fancy, but not in a smothering way. The sign read “Lambert’s,” in curly blue letters. They had tables outside on a patio, and fairy lights strung up around the wooden posts that held the roof over the patio.

“It’s where you and Troy go on your first date. And your second, and your third. It becomes something of a tradition. Troy loves their steak, and they make buttered noodles if you ask, even though it’s not on the menu.”

“Really?” Abed’s eyes lit up. “I should come here more often.”

Jeff shrugged. “That’s the idea, yeah.” 

“Sorry, I interrupted. You were saying that Troy and I go on dates?” He asked, trying to hide the excitement in his voice. 

“Are you really surprised? You know how you feel about Troy, and I think you suspect how Troy feels about you.”

Abed cocked his head and furrowed his brow. “How does Troy feel about me?” 

“Just follow me.” Jeff was clearly growing annoyed. 

“Again? Where are we going now?”

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“You’re not giving me a lot of answers,” Abed pointed out. 

“Oh really? I think you’re getting more answers than most people get.” Jeff snapped. Then he noticed the look of confusion on Abed’s face, sighing. “I’m sorry, Abed. You just have to be patient. And trust me.”

Abed nodded and double stepped to get back in line with Jeff as they continued on their tour. 

They come to a stop in front of a large house. The walls are brick, as well as the large steps up to the house. The house has big windows on the bottom floor, and a balcony on the third. 

“Is this-?” Abed breathes.

“Your house? Yeah. It could be.” 

Abed finally lets go of Jeff’s hand, stepping forward. He could feel the awestruck look on his face. “Mine and.. Troy’s?”

“Yeah, dummy. Of course. You think you bought this on a “best boy” salary?” 

“Oh.” Abed looks down disappointedly. “So I’m still a best boy, huh?” 

“Not so fast, kid. I didn’t show you the next part yet.”

He slung his arm over Abed’s shoulder, nodding for them to keep walking. “Jeff, are we going to walk all over Los Angeles tonight?”

“If that’s what it takes to get you to understand,” Jeff said smugly. “At least it doesn’t _feel_ like we’re walking all over LA. If you haven’t noticed, time is weird here.”

Sure enough, within a few minutes they stood outside of the Chinese Theater in Hollywood. 

“Jeff, you better not be pulling my leg right now.”

Jeff shrugged, grinning. “Who says I am?”

Abed gave him a look. “Just give it to me straight.”

“Okay. Your first successful film premieres here. I can’t tell you much more about it. That would damage your “creative process.” But I can tell you that it happens.” He smirks proudly, watching Abed’s eyes turn quarter-sized with amazement, then back to soft and longing. “You and Troy will walk the red carpet together right over there,” he points. 

Abed shook his head and turned back to Jeff. “This is all way too good to be true. What’s the catch?”

“There’s no catch, Abed. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. If you wait for Troy, you have so much to look forward to. Walk with me.” 

Jeff led Abed up to the theater, opening the door for him. 

“We can’t be in here, Jeff.” 

“Yeah, well tonight I make the rules. Go.” 

They walked the halls of the theater as Jeff spoke. “You and Troy will be happy together, Abed. You could get married, adopt a few kids, direct a few movies, grow old in a small house in a European country. It’s a life most people would do anything for.”

They walked through another set of doors and into the actual theater. Abed looked up at the gold ceiling, letting his eyes move slowly down and around the room, taking it all in. 

“Okay, and what if I don’t wait for Troy? What happens then?” He asked hesitantly.

They inched down one of the isles, taking the seats in the middle of the theater. Jeff kicked his feet up on the seat in front of him and sighed. 

“Well, you still marry. A woman. But she doesn’t like Los Angeles, so you give up your dream to move with her, to a small town in Oregon. You have a kid together, a cat. It’s not a _bad_ life. But you and I both know that you spend every day wondering what might’ve been.” 

“What about Troy?” Abed picked nervously at a threat on his sweatshirt. “Does he… get married too?”

Jeff shook his head silently. “Britta told you. Troy’s a repairman. He doesn’t question the rules, he does what he can to get by. He fixes air conditioners. His life is pretty unremarkable.” 

“No,” Abed said harshly, upset with Jeff’s answer. “That’s if we never met. What happens to Troy if I don’t wait for him?”

“Oh. More or less the same. He marries a woman named Claire, and they move to New York, but they get divorced after a few years, and he doesn’t ever get remarried. No kids, no pets. Lots of money, a big house, but no one to share it with. Again, there are worse ways to live, but the life you make together isn’t one of them.”

Abed is quiet. “I think I’d like to go home now.” He murmurs. “I’m sad.” 

“Why?” Jeff asks. “You have all the power in your hands _tonight_ Abed. You can make the right decision.”

“Please just take me home. I don’t want to know any more.” 

They shuffled back to Abed’s apartment silently, this time with both their hands in their pockets and their eyes on the ground. When they reach the steps to the building, Jeff grabbed Abed by the wrist, pulling him back. 

“Abed, wait. Before you go…” He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Abed, hugging him tightly. “You know what to do, Abed. Don’t shut him out.” 

⟷⟷⟷

Abed gasped, sitting straight up in his bed. His pajamas were soaked in sweat and his alarm clock was blaring. Sun streamed through the window, reassuring Abed that whatever that insane dream had been, it was over now. He rubbed his hands over his face warily, wiping the crust out of his eyes. He pushed the blankets off of himself, swinging his legs over the side of his bed.  
Weird. He didn’t remember going to bed in jeans. 

He brushed it off, changing into his sweatpants and sliding his slippers on, shuffling out to brush his teeth. 

_crunch._ He groaned. The glass was still there, of course. He took a few steps backward, opening his closet to get his vacuum. He unraveled the cord, kneeling to plug it in. He picked the photo up carefully, the glass sliding off the paper and back onto the floor. He turned it over slowly. His and Troy’s smiling faces stared back at him, joined together where Troys hand gripped his own. No longer mocking him, just a happy memory. He brushed his thumb over Troy’s face fondly, smiling. He placed the photo gently back on his bedside table, standing against his lamp, before vacuuming up the glass. 

It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes later when there was a knock at Abed’s front door. He was in the kitchen, making himself a cup of coffee, stirring in the Hershey’s syrup, when the knock made him jump about a mile. 

He hurried to the front door, wondering who the hell didn’t have better things to do on Christmas morning than to come bother him. All he wanted to do was watch Die Hard and eat his cereal after what felt like the longest night of his life, but now this?

He opened the door, peering around the corner slowly. 

“Hey buddy… I’m home,” came the gentle voice from the other side of the door. 

Abed felt his entire body go cold. He was right there. He had a beard, but those were his eyes, just as soft and kind as they were all those years ago. His lips, still turned up in a flirtatious smile. Abed flung the door the rest of the way open and flung himself into Troy’s arms, burying his face in his shoulder. 

“You’re real..” he mumbled quietly. 

“Yeah, I’m real. I missed you so much.”

Abed didn’t know what to say, he just squeezed him tighter. “Please don’t leave again.” 

“I didn’t plan on it. I’m here to stay, as long as you’ll have me.” 

Abed pulled back, staring into Troy's eyes. “Troy, I love you. I really love you. I was stupid not to tell you before you left, and I don’t want to go another minute without you knowing it.”

Troy’s smile spread impossibly wider. “I love you too, Abed. So much.”

Troy lifted himself on his tiptoes, pressing a gentle and testing kiss to Abed’s lips. It was short, but possibly the sweetest thing Abed had ever experienced in his life. He never wanted that kiss to end. They pulled away slowly, gripping each other’s shirts tightly. Abed felt like he was walking on clouds. 

“Wow. You’re so good at Christmas, Troy.”


End file.
